I lead worship at the penitentiary today.
I WAS TERRIFIED.
I drove up to the building by myself with a vague idea of what I was supposed to be doing and no clue where I was supposed to do it. There were inmates outside cleaning up the leaves on the ground and I didn't know whether I was to talk to them or not to talk to them...but then they talked to me and then I just didn't know what to do --you see what I mean?
I decided as I walked inside that I wasn't going to let fear make me rude to these people and I wasn't going to think of myself in a higher position than I really am in comparison. The only difference between me and everyone in that room is the choices we made from our circumstances.
Anyway, long story short it was a great experience. My fear seemed to skyrocket with the slamming of the metal doors and the clink of all the metal on metal. It was all very intense. As I climbed the stairs to the chapel I expected the room and the men in it to be more...frightening.
But, to my surprise, there were stained glass windows and images of Jesus all around the room. The light came in beautifully. The carpet was typical church flooring and it seemed just like a regular church or chapel somewhere, except everyone was wearing the same outfit.
The other musician and I made our way down to the center of the "stage" area and there were mic stands and guitar stands, even music stands. I realized that I was being treated better there at the prison than I have been at some churches I've lead worship for. The inmates were very helpful and followed all the rules, none of them invaded my personal space or asked me questions about my life that were inappropriate.
After I had sang a couple songs, and the other musician had done the same, I felt God impress on me to speak about some pages I had read out of Diogenes Allen's book Spiritual Theology. I was totally down to do it until I found the pages I needed and looked at what I had written on the bottom.
Conviction.
You guys, I'm not kidding I went to the prison today and talked to convicted inmates about being convicted by the Holy Spirit. I thought "surely I will offend them" and I thought about all the ways that I was unqualified to talk about the subject and this and that.
But I remembered that I'm not really qualified to do any kind of ministering to people without the Spirit of God anyway, so...I went for it!
I'm not even sure what I said but I know that they understood me. I was blatant about the comparison between the conviction they all had received to even be in the room and the conviction of the Holy Spirit. In fact, I clearly remember saying "I know you all understand that the word conviction means something totally different in here than it does outside," and it does. In fact, it seemed like every head in the room nodded in agreement.
Those men in that room with me clearly understand what it means to be convicted.
I remember talking about how Spiritual Theology contests that the test to see if we are truly Christians, or truly following God is to check: "do I want my life to look like God's?" or do I really want to be obedient and follow God's word about me and my life? Am I being transformed? Those are the questions that need to be answered.
We talked about practicing God's presence and many other subjects. But, for this blog I will just tell you that when God calls you to do things that are literally terrifying -- just know that the safest place to be is inside of His will.
Even if he calls you to Antartica or to talk to prisoners about the meaning of conviction and following Jesus --inside the will of God is the best place for you to be.
I WAS TERRIFIED.
I drove up to the building by myself with a vague idea of what I was supposed to be doing and no clue where I was supposed to do it. There were inmates outside cleaning up the leaves on the ground and I didn't know whether I was to talk to them or not to talk to them...but then they talked to me and then I just didn't know what to do --you see what I mean?
I decided as I walked inside that I wasn't going to let fear make me rude to these people and I wasn't going to think of myself in a higher position than I really am in comparison. The only difference between me and everyone in that room is the choices we made from our circumstances.
Anyway, long story short it was a great experience. My fear seemed to skyrocket with the slamming of the metal doors and the clink of all the metal on metal. It was all very intense. As I climbed the stairs to the chapel I expected the room and the men in it to be more...frightening.
But, to my surprise, there were stained glass windows and images of Jesus all around the room. The light came in beautifully. The carpet was typical church flooring and it seemed just like a regular church or chapel somewhere, except everyone was wearing the same outfit.
The other musician and I made our way down to the center of the "stage" area and there were mic stands and guitar stands, even music stands. I realized that I was being treated better there at the prison than I have been at some churches I've lead worship for. The inmates were very helpful and followed all the rules, none of them invaded my personal space or asked me questions about my life that were inappropriate.
After I had sang a couple songs, and the other musician had done the same, I felt God impress on me to speak about some pages I had read out of Diogenes Allen's book Spiritual Theology. I was totally down to do it until I found the pages I needed and looked at what I had written on the bottom.
Conviction.
You guys, I'm not kidding I went to the prison today and talked to convicted inmates about being convicted by the Holy Spirit. I thought "surely I will offend them" and I thought about all the ways that I was unqualified to talk about the subject and this and that.
But I remembered that I'm not really qualified to do any kind of ministering to people without the Spirit of God anyway, so...I went for it!
I'm not even sure what I said but I know that they understood me. I was blatant about the comparison between the conviction they all had received to even be in the room and the conviction of the Holy Spirit. In fact, I clearly remember saying "I know you all understand that the word conviction means something totally different in here than it does outside," and it does. In fact, it seemed like every head in the room nodded in agreement.
Those men in that room with me clearly understand what it means to be convicted.
I remember talking about how Spiritual Theology contests that the test to see if we are truly Christians, or truly following God is to check: "do I want my life to look like God's?" or do I really want to be obedient and follow God's word about me and my life? Am I being transformed? Those are the questions that need to be answered.
We talked about practicing God's presence and many other subjects. But, for this blog I will just tell you that when God calls you to do things that are literally terrifying -- just know that the safest place to be is inside of His will.
Even if he calls you to Antartica or to talk to prisoners about the meaning of conviction and following Jesus --inside the will of God is the best place for you to be.
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